You wouldn't like Dwyane Wade when he's angry.

I love this motherfucker, man. I. Love. This. Mother. Fucker. Do you have any idea what this motherfucker just did? This motherfucker absolutely lost his fucking mind in the 4th quarter against the Knicks. Heat are down by 15 when this Euro-trash asshole elbows this dude in the face. Dude gets up, spitting blood, and proceeds to bend over the entire New York Knicks community and sodomize them one by one by motherfucking one. Heat go on a 19-0 run with Wade scoring 15 of those 19. He ends up with 24 in the quarter and 46 for the game. Oh yeah, he also had 10 assists, 8 rebounds, 4 steals and 3 blocks. Most importantly, he lead the Heat to a W against the motherfucking New York Knicks. Holla @ u later, Knicks. Take the 3-point exhibition to the D-League. Oh yeah, and one more thing, SUCK MY DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

I think the Associated Press pretty much sums it up with these two glorious sentences:

"The New York Knicks made Dwyane Wade bleed. So he made them pay."

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Random AD Quote, Vol. 2

"Her?"

After tonight, The Cone Zone is no more.

Tonight, after 15+ years at Late night, Conan bids his final adieu as host before taking over the helm of The Tonite Show starting on June 2nd. Godspeed, Conan, Max, Joel, La Bamba, Triumph, Masturbating Bear, S & M Lincoln, Shoeverine, Fed-Ex Pope, Abe Vigoda, Dean James Lipton, Cactus Chef playing We Didn't Start The Fire on the flute, The String Dance, If They Mated, Actual Items, Celebrity Surveys, SAT Analogies and those predictable but hilarious Paris Hilton, Christina Aguilera, Clay Aiken, George Bush and Kirstie Alley monologue jokes. Taste these tears, interwebs. Taste my sad.

This pretty much sums it up:



Thanks, Conan. We shall see you in June.

Charles Mingus - Mingus Ah Um

This was a pretty tough decision to make. Not the album itself, but deciding which Charles Mingus album to upload. It was between this, Oh Yeah, and The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady. Ultimately, I went with Mingus Ah Um because it was the first Charles Mingus album I fell in love with and, in my humble estimation, his best work.

Artist: Charles Mingus
Album: Mingus Ah Um
Genre: Jazz
Year released: 1959
Standout tracks: Goodbye Pork Pie Hat, Fables of Faubus, Pussy Cat Dues
Download:
http://www.mediafire.com/?ziymtnjkenz

Obama's Elf (Don't Wanna Be)

You stay classy, New York Post.

I think we're all mature enough to know what Cartoonist Sean Delonas was going for in this OH, SO CLEVER illustration. But, I mean, doesn't there come a point when you have to ask yourself, "Is this going to make people lose their shit and come after me bearing torches, pitchforks and rope?" It goes beyond naivete to think that we live in a post-racial utopia because this country elected it's first black president back in November. And, even if this was the case, you can't, under any circumstance, draw parallels between a monkey and a black man. Especially if that black man happens to be our commander-in-chief. Where's your sense of history, Mr. Delonas? I hate to break it to you, but you're probably going to end up on Olbermann's Worst Person in the World segment later tonite. Other than that, I expect the blowback to be extremely minimal.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Zero

The first single off of It's Blitz! has finally hit the interwebs. After three listens, the only word that can do this track justice is "meh." Oh well, I'm still pretty optimistic considering I've liked everything they've released to date. I'll update this post with a download link once I get a hold of the track. In the meantime, it's currently streaming on their MySpace. And yes, to answer your question, apparently people still use MySpace.

Stream:
http://www.myspace.com/yeahyeahyeahs

Deerhunter - Agoraphobia

"Cover me, cover me, comfort me, comfort me..."

Video:


Download:
http://www.mediafire.com/?wtntjdlyzmn

I love you all, Marta.

So here's the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album cover.

It's called It's Blitz! and it's scheduled to hit stores April 14th. Of course, as soon as I have it, you'll have it. Here's hoping it leaks some time beforehand. If the music is comparable to the artwork, this will probably be one of the best records of 2009. And yes, to answer your question, I would definitely throw it in Karen O. Look at that sexy wrist. Just look at it!!!
Tracklist
1. Zero
2. Heads Will Roll
3. Soft Shock
4. Skeletons
5. Dull Life
6. Shame and Fortune
7. Runaway
8. Dragon Queen
9. Hysteric
10. Little Shadow

I may or may not have an unhealthy obsession with Attack of the Show's Olivia Munn.

The cease and desist letter I received from her attorney's office makes me think that it's probably the latter. Honestly, I just made this post so I could use the "too many boners to list" tag again. But mostly, I made it to profess my love for Olivia Munn. And--who knows?--if by some sort of heavenly happenstance she stumbles upon my humble, little spot on the interwebs and decides right then and there that I am the man she wishes to spend the rest of her life with, you never end a sentence with a preposition.

Inglorious Basterds Trailer

http://movies.yahoo.com/premieres/11990378/standardformat/

So here's a video of Salma Hayek breastfeeding an African baby.

Miles Davis - Kind of Blue

I decided I would upload an album I love every fortnight for two reasons:
1. I love music.
2. I love the commonwealth unit of time.
It makes perfect sense that the first album I uploaded, also happens to be my favorite album of all time. I know it's a pretty cliché #1, but there's a reason why so many people have fallen in love with it. Instead of waxing poetic, below are the specs to get you on your way.

Artist: Miles Davis
Album: Kind of Blue
Genre: Jazz
Year released: 1959
Standout tracks: So What, Blue In Green, Flamenco Sketches
Download:
http://www.mediafire.com/?8uuwudw53y1

Good night, Kiddo.

<3

The comments section at MediaTakeOut.

One of the many reasons I love the internet.
Example:

Look, Chris just lost his doubblement gum adds. Thats money lost. It's a FVCKING RESESION. If this story is true, Rianna needs to step the fvck up and get this boys good reputaion back, because now...she's [EXPLETIVE] up his money and THAT SH1T AINT COOL! If indeed she has a history of REPEATEDLY putting her hands on him, cause him to have an accident, he finally snaps and slaps the b1tch, he gets arrested, and he loosing money in the process??? OOOOHWEEEE, he don't need to hit her, he needs to get one of his female cousins and em to whoop riannas azz for that sh1t.

I couldn't have said it better myself, HoneyDipp35.

Random AD Quote.

"I think we all feel that way about our mothers, and we all have legs."

New era in blogging.

After exploring every conceivable option, my cabinet and I have decided to go with "simonbakerfishlove.blogspot.com."
We deliberated for well over 5 minutes and decided that the "S" at the end of baker was superfluous and completely expendable.
To all those fans of the original url name, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
Thank you and good night.

I hate my url name.

It's been less than 2 hours and I already hate my url name.
The plight of the indecisive.
I'm pretty sure it's impossible to just change it on the fly.
I'd probably have to delete this entire blog and start over from scratch.
Right now, I'm loving the sound of simonbakersfishlove.blogspot.com
Although, I'm pretty sure in another 15 minutes I'll probably hate that too.
On second, third, and fourth thought, I'm just going to leave the url name as it is.
Unless, of course, I get the "okay" from a certain someone whose name shall remain a mystery.
Fuck it.

I have a lot of things to say.

And you'd be wise to listen good.